I miss being an unquestioning Christian
I used to evangelize, fast, pray, and preach. I was one that people looked up to as a Christian role model with nicknames like Biblemen
But what no one knew was that I had always struggled with questions that seemed to drag
my walk down, even if just for brief moments. Those were some agonizing moments
One minute I'm reading the Bible, the next I'm rebuking the spirit of doubt
I would pray that these thoughts would just disappear because the more I tried to destroy them with reason, the louder those nasty questions became
Questions like, why did God cast the devil onto the earth? We are talking about a being who was able to convince a third of the angels in heaven, surely
Innocent, naive humans had no chance, did they? What is this idea of war in heaven How can a finite being called Lucifer fight a war against an all all omnipresent God The answers to these and many more questions were
those are God's secrets, you can't understand his ways, and if you read the Bible with the
Holy Spirit, everything will be revealed to you. I slowly started embracing the doubts and decided
to follow them wherever they would lead me. Although I am still struggling subconsciously
with concepts of hell and eternal damnation, I feel more grounded and more honest with myself
It's liberating