Annie Hall was supposed to be a very different kind of picture
The period films were among my favorites, but I thought I was funny in Broadway Danny Rose
and I thought I was funny in Manhattan Murder Mystery. In Annie Hall, you were getting the Diane Keaton
that you used to get offstage. You know, that's how she was
I offered to make a free picture for United Artists if they would not put it out
I do know the movie I would like to make, and that would be strictly a New York movie
In the book, there's a line that I loved where you said that you talk about how people in
the Renoir painting long to live in the Fragonard painting. And this is a theme in Midnight in Paris where nobody was happy
I think that was the message of Midnight in Paris, that nobody's happy in the time period that they are
and they always wax nostalgic about another time period. And you return to that theme in What's With Bound
If you could live in another time period, what time period would you want to live in
I wouldn't because of the same reason that I gave in Midnight in Paris
You know, it's very tempting to want to live in the 20s or the 30s in New York
It was very glamorous. But you wouldn't have, you know, you wouldn't have any of your medicines
You know, if you go back to the really like the Belle Époque in Paris, which is great, you couldn't get any Novocaine when you go to the dentist
You couldn't get any of that stuff. So you have to sacrifice all of that beauty and all that charm
There was no air conditioning. No air conditioning. No dry cleaning. That's right
We look at these TV shows like the Gilded Age now. We think, how did they get these clothes cleaned
It doesn't seem possible. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but they spent a lot of time on that. They changed clothes during the day a few times and bed linens a few times. I mean, it wasn't like today
And I would miss that. You know, I would miss that. But nobody's happy
And they impute that to all kinds of excuses, all kinds of scenarios
You know, and one of the populism things that they come up with is the era they live in
But they would be, you know, the people in the other eras were also unhappy
That was what was brilliant. And I laughed when I read it in the book
I'm going, that's midnight in Paris. Because Owen Wilson was so happy to be back in that time period
And whoever he traveled back to the, I think it was Belle Epoque, he was like, what do you do
I hate my time period. Nobody's satisfied. Nobody's satisfied in the period that they're in
Because nobody's satisfied, period. You know, if you stop anybody in the street and talk to them
they're unhappy for one reason or another. One guy will tell you it's the era he lives in
But they'll give you a million other reasons they're unhappy. But nobody walking around is really happy
You did a montage. I think it was when 9-11 happened. You did a little montage where you were stopping people on the street and asking them questions
Do you remember that? I remember doing a, at that time, Harvey Weinstein was making a montage, not a montage, a show at Madison Square Garden
Right. And it was all about New York. And he asked me if I'd make a contribution
and I so I made a little film a video film of people
that you kept passing in the street and you'd hear their one line
from their cell phones what they were saying and it was hilarious
I remember that the only place that was ever seen I think
was that one night in Madison Square it's on YouTube now Woody, everything is on YouTube
there's a channel this will be on YouTube Woody there's a there's a podcast there's an account called woody allen films where it just is a loop
that keeps showing clips from all of your films did you know that yeah you know what i once asked
you um it was at the premiere of the beakman theater is no longer there but it was a red
carpet on on the beakman and you said you don't save anything i said this is the people aren't
really watching DVDs anymore. But I said, you never have DVD extras with bonus features. You
know, he said, no, I, I, I, I throw everything away. I'm just curious. I know that like on Annie
Hall and I know, uh, I think it was, uh, Ralph Rosenblum did the editing on it. It was like four
hours and then you cut it different ways. Well, that, and all the movies, I know you, you shoot
extra stuff. Will any of that stuff, is it, is it like that Magnificent Ambersons where that hour
is missing forever or will it ever surface when... I think it's all missing forever
It's like burned, it's gone, it's like... I think so. There's no extras. I never wanted to include extras
in my DVDs and I don't save anything. I'm not sure. I don't think I have copies
of most of my films myself. Really? I think in this house
if you wanted to see a copy of, you know, most of my films, I wouldn't be able to come up with them
So when we're all long, when we're all dead and gone, years from now, it won't be like
they've unearthed an hour of Annie Hall or an hour of crimes misdemeanors or something
that never made the final cut like that. That's not that I'm aware of
Look, a picture like September. Yes. Yeah. I shot the whole picture again with a different cast
So there was a completed picture. Where is it? Do you know
Where's the first picture? It doesn't exist, you know, because I don't save any of that stuff
So you just throw up, you just basically throw it away. If I was a certain kind of personality
it would have been good material to lecture at a film class
This was this, and then here it is, you know, redone. The actors, the rewrites
but I wasn't thinking of that at the time. I was just thinking
So there aren going to be any lost Woody Allen films that are going to turn up years from now I don think so You know nothing no lost films and I don think any lost clips
Are there any, like, I know when you make a movie, this was a really funny bit
but it didn't really work with the movie when you put it together. Are there any bits that, like, from movies where you go
gee, I really wish I could have incorporated that, but it just didn't work with the movie that come to mind or anything like that
Well, a million. I've thrown out a million jokes. But I do have, I don't think I have, but it does exist
And I, you know, maybe someone in my organization has a copy
The one thing I do remember, when I did everything you always want to know about sex
I shot a sequence with Louise, my ex-wife. And we completed that sequence
The spider sequence. The spider sequence. I never put it in the movie. and I think it exists
I would love, you know. But I don't know where or how
That's one of my favorite comedies of yours. I just recently watched it again
Do you have a favorite sequence, by the way, in that movie out of all the
if you remember the stories? I don't remember them too well, but I do remember loving Gene Wilder
Oh, that was great. Because I'm such a big admirer of him
Gene told me that you said when you did that, that sequence and he
and other actors have told me this as well, that when you shoot a movie, you go, if you want to change the dialogue, go, Gene said to me
he goes, go right ahead. If you want to change, you know, what I wrote
if you want to change it, you know, go ahead. Yeah. So, and other actors have told me the same thing
Have many actors done that? And if they've done that and you don't like what they've done, do you
I tell them, you know, but most of the time they do it fine
The only phenomenon that occurs there is an actor will thank me profusely for 10 minutes for giving him the freedom
And, you know, this is then when we shoot, it lapses right
They go back to the script. It's written. Right. And I said, what happened? You know, what happened to all the freedom
And then they back off. But a number of them will not back off
And usually what they do is better. It comes out better than what I wrote because it's organic for them
That's the way they speak. It's their rhythm. They're halting rhythms. They're stumbling
It sounds real. And rather than reading lines I gave them, which sometimes they can make sound real and sometimes they can't
Sometimes it sounds like... Is there anyone who was a really great ad-libber? Anybody that you really thought, oh, they did a great job with this
but I didn't actually write it? Well, Tony Roberts was great at that
Uh-huh. Yeah, he was wonderful, and he had the confidence. And he was a wonderful ad-libber
And you had a great friendship, so you had an easy rapport with him. Yeah, it was easy
Do you remember any lines that Tony Roberts improvised in either? I don't, but I remember him improvising all the time
I mean, he would improvise in the scenes. And, you know, Keaton, on the other hand, never liked to improvise
She always, you know, she was a first-rate actress. She could make anything sound funny or good, but she didn't like to improvise
She liked to learn. She'd be the one on the set that would learn everybody's lines the first day
You come in knowing everything. And she would do the lines, but they always sounded filtered through her inimitable personality
So you wrote La-di-da, like Nanny Hall, La-di-da, La-di? No, I didn't write it
That was the sum total of, in our eight pictures, of her ad lib
La-di-da, La-di-da. But she was not comfortable either doing jokes or ad libbing
In our script, I used to, I felt very comfortable doing jokes
I'd give myself all the jokes. Right. And she didn't have any jokes
By the end of the movie, she got all the laughs because she was intrinsically funny
It would be as if I did a two-hander, say, with W.C. Fields
And he would get all the laughs because he's just funnier than me
He's a funnier human being. Did you cut the spider sketch or did the studio
No, no, I cut it. It didn't work? I didn't think it worked
I didn't think it was good enough. No, the studio never did anything for a frame of any movie I've ever had
I had total artistic control of every movie I've done, including the very first one when I've never..
Take the money. Take the money. I didn't have it in the contract then
And subsequently, I got an eye contract. But it was Palomar Pictures
And they were, you know, a new company. And they figured, well, he knows what's funny
Leave him alone. I got to ask you, if I may, I got to ask you
You've gone on record saying the first movie, which I love, Take the Money and Run
I could watch that over and over again. The laughs just, you said that you didn't know what you were doing
It was the first time you were directing. There's a scene in there. For somebody that first time movie, you don't know what you're doing is directing when you're playing cello in the in the high school marching band and you're picking up the chair, the chair and you play
Right. For somebody who never directed, that's a very complicated thing to shoot
I mean, how do you even figure out how to do something? It was common sense. Someone asked me when I made that picture from Paloma, they drifted around the set and said, you've got a million dollars to make this movie
How do you feel with so much responsibility? And I'm thinking to myself, you know, it's common sense
You know what you want to see. I wrote the joke. I know what I want to see
So you know where to put the camera? Yeah, you put the camera where you can see it
And if I couldn't see it, you know, I would then say we have to move back a little or a little to the right
But it was just common sense. You have such a comedic sense
There's a scene in that movie where, I'm paraphrasing, Virgil took the experimental vaccination
There were no after effects, but for two hours afterwards, he was turned into a rabbi
And you slowed your voice down for comedic effect. And I'm like, how did you know that
You go like, instead of just talking the way you usually talk, we eat matzo
It was slower. and the slow in this made it funnier. Well, that's how all the rabbis spoke
They spoke with, you know, rabbinical intonation. Yes. And they would speak that way
And I always thought it was hilarious. It's hilarious. But the rabbis I always found funny because when I grew up
you didn't have all these kind of nice-looking reform rabbis, you know that drive Ferraris we had you know there were older men with beards and they spoke you know in toning the words all the time
It's funnier. It was just so much, if you would just deliver it, the way you said it, it just
Well, yes. Well, they were more authoritarian figures, those rabbis. You know, they were very scary
You know, a rabbi even that I had when I was a kid was an old-fashioned rabbi like that
Now you have women rabbis and, you know, everyone's dressed in Armani
Yeah. But then it was exactly as you described. They were old-fashioned rabbis
They were ominous and dark. You were scared of them. And very serious
Yeah. You couldn't joke with them. You know, there was a solemnity about their presence
Speaking of rabbis, in what's with Baum, in italics, there's a lot of Yiddish words that you put into the book from time to time
And did you just pick up Yiddish growing up in Brooklyn in the house
Yeah, I picked up in my family. All my aunts and uncles, my mother, my father, they all spoke a certain amount of Yiddish
But there's certain words that have transitioned into everybody's vocabulary. you know so
everyone knows mishegas now everyone knows chutzpah yeah they don't know what they're saying
everyone says schtick sometimes they say stick I have to say no it's schtick
yes they know those words because they're common and they're very specifically descriptive unmatched
by words in the English language it's true so you can use them
with impunity Roger and I were talking about this on the phone last night
The last movie where the title sequence before the movie started, instead of the black background with the Windsor font
the last movie where you did a title sequence, and it was a very funny title sequence
speaking about everything you always wanted to know about sex. You had the rabbits, which are identified with mating
and you played Cole Porter's Let's Misbehave, which was very funny. And after that movie, well, I'm sorry
I was going to say, at that period in moviemaking, titles were a big thing
And I couldn't really afford titles. So I went to the black and white titles and used them forever
I never spent any money on titles again. But people were getting these Saul Bass titles
You know, spending a fortune on titles. They were very imaginative. Everything I was going to know about sex was very funny
I mean, that opening sequence is, you're looking at the rabbits and their noses are moving and Cole Porter is like, let's misbehave
It's like, it was the perfect intro to that movie. There was a man who worked up, I think, a Time magazine
named Norman Gorbati who had that idea and said to us, to a background of, you know, a thousand rabbits
from the background. And so we went out and got the rabbits
and we found we got hundreds of rabbits. We had every rabbit in the tri-state area, really
And then when we put them in this white room, they all came to one side in the corner
and we needed 5,000 rabbits to come to the room. They huddled together
But you had to have picked the song. They huddled all together, yeah. You had to have picked the song
because that's your period of music. Yes, I picked all the songs in all my movies, every song all the time
But now this credit sequence with the black background and that same font
that's become like a trademark. It's like a Woody Allen, it's like, oh, there it is
It's like Annie Hall, Love and Death. Yeah, I felt the important thing is the movie
and I was not going to spend that kind of money. But when I first started, you know, it cost a fortune to make those elaborate Dick Williams
Right. And they were fabulous when you saw them in other movies
But we couldn't afford, you know, whatever, $350,000 or $500,000 for titles
And you got that idea of stacking the names, just stacking them. People don't get separate cards
They're just in there alphabetically. Alphabetically, yeah. We said to everybody, you have to work for the minimum
We have to work titles in alphabetical order. We made it as simple as possible
I have to tell you, I saw a film at the New York Film Festival last week. It's called After the Hunt
It's a Julia Roberts movie by Luca Guadagino. Do you know who he is
I know he's a director by name, but I don't know. The movie starts exactly like a Woody Allen movie
It's the black and white. It's your type thing. It's exactly the Windsor typeface
And when the film opens onto the first scene, the characters are sitting around a room like this
and it looks like you expect Woody Allen dialogue. It's very weird why he's done that
because I think people will sit there and think, this is going to be a Woody Allen movie now
It's so trademarked to you. But that movie will make money. I don't know about that
I read this book over the summer. It was an 800-page book
It was called Woody Allen, A Travesty of a Mockery of a Sham
which is a line of yours from Bananas. And in the book, the guy says that you went to Rollins and Jaffe
when you were writing for all those television shows, and you wanted them to represent you
And I want to know if this is true or not. And they said, we don't represent writers
You've got to be a performer, writer. and that they pushed you, according to the book
they said that they pushed you into doing stand-up, which is something you weren't interested in
I watched the Barry Weiss interview that you did recently, and you said that you saw the comedy was going in a different direction
You saw Mort Sahl and Jonathan Winters and all these different kind of comedians
and you said, this is for me. So I'm wondering, did you want to do stand-up
or was Rollins and Jaffe saying, get on stage? and you know
The guy is not accurate. I went to Jack Rollins, who was the deservedly definitive manager
and I asked him to handle me as a writer. And he said, well, we've never handled a writer before
And he said, but let's try. And he handled me for, you know
I would say six months or a year as a writer. And I wrote television shows
and gave him commission. And once at his house for dinner, I mentioned that I was thinking of maybe trying stand-up comedy
to do it myself. Well, he never let me off the hook when I said that
He just would not let it go. He thought it was a great idea that I should put an act together
and I would say to him what do I have that is different or that anybody you know is nothing special Why should I do this And he said to me give me let me make the decisions
Give me just, you know, a year or two, and then we'll have this discussion again
Just listen to what I say and do what I tell you. And so I did, and he sent me down to the village to do this
and then he sent me to the Blue Angel when they had the night
that you auditioned for jobs there. and I listened to him and I would say to him
I'm not enjoying this. You know, I don't like the idea. You weren't enjoying it at all
I wasn't enjoying it. Were you getting laughs? I was killing them from the first night
Really? When I went on stage at the Blue Angel, Shelly Berman gave me a nice introduction on a Sunday night
when they put on their nun, you know, the people that are auditioning to get to the Blue Angel
and I was terrified and frozen. But the next day, a million offers came in
Wow. From the first? The first. I was succeeding. Yeah. In spite of myself, I was petrified
I didn't like, and I didn't like it. I used to say to Jack Rollins, you know, I'm not enjoying this
This is no fun. I get nervous and I don't want to go down to a club every single night
and come home at midnight. or later. And he said, just, you know, do it and let's see what happens
And did the persona, the Woody Allen persona that you do in the movies
did that come out of the act? Did you develop that? No, I just spoke and I didn't give it any thought
I just came out and told the jokes, you know. And I thought that I used to say to Jack
why can't I just come out and read the jokes? You know, the jokes are good jokes
You've got to be the paper. Let me read them. And he was explaining to me that what I was so crazy about
with someone like Mort Saul, he said, yes, the jokes are very good
but you're responding to the human being. It's like Mort's personality, there's something about him
that's what you have to do. It's not the jokes for anybody
It's the delivery. It's the, yeah, the person, the human being. And I was, of course, had all the answers and argued with them
Did you loosen up eventually? Did you feel like you got into a rhythm of it
I never really loosened up. And I never had trouble with it
I mean, I never died. I was never heckled. And I played all these nightclubs in Washington, D.C., in St. Louis, in Boston, in New Jersey, in San Francisco
I played all of the clubs. And I never, ever was heckled
And I never had a bad night. I never had one of those nights where, you know
You said you never enjoyed the stand-up. Did you ever enjoy, like, doing, you hosted the Tonight Show and you were on periodically on New Year's Eve
I would see you with Johnny. you would do the New Year's Eve? Were you comfortable doing What's My Line
and doing the tonight? I was always nervous before I went out
And then when I was out there, you know, it would be less nerve-wracking
The anticipation was more unpleasant because once you're out there and no amount of logic works
you think to yourself, there's 500 people out there in this audience
they have paid to see you. you worked the same show the night before and you got huge laughs
What are you afraid of? I mean, you're going to go out there. They've all paid to see you
They want to see you. Your press has been great. They laugh every night you've been on
Why are you frightened? But something hardwired in the body. When you recorded the albums, how was that
I recorded it. We had the guy come in Chicago and I think maybe San Francisco
I can't remember where, but Chicago I remember, Mr. Kelly's and he recorded it
You know, one of the great stories on those albums is the one you tell
about rounding the bases when you're trying to move in on this girl. Do you know that
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I hear it on Sirius. They clip it out and they
play it. It's still a serious XM radio. Yeah. It's a great, it's a great, uh, standup
Yeah. I did very well. I mean, I had no reason to be frightened. I was able to do it. People
liked me. I didn't get into any conflicts with anyone. No one heckled you. No one heckled me
ever. Uh, or the, the bosses of the, of the, um, clubs, you know, the only, only thing I remember
on the Negro side, I was they booked me into Las Vegas and
they thought that they would sell out Caesar's Palace but they didn't
We had about two thirds of a house so they would move
the potted plants in for the next show. Just make the room smaller
and then they'd have to move more of them. And by the second week, it's like I'm playing to all potted plants
You know, there's no people at that practically. That's hilarious. It's all plants
And in Vegas, and this story was verified in somebody's autobiography, I offered to give the money back to Las Vegas
Really? Because I felt they were giving me a lot of money, and I wasn't
and they couldn't believe they wouldn't take the money back they couldn't believe that anyone
had ever offered to give them but I felt guilty. Did you give it back? They wouldn't take it. I was ready
to give it back then I offered it to them but they wouldn't take it and there was they
you know it was nice. That's hysterical. And they booked me into Las Vegas several times even
and I did well with the plants? I was killing them. The plants enjoyed
the act. The plants loved it. But I did well with what audiences
came in. But you didn't enjoy going, like not only on stage
that whole period in the early 60s, being in Vegas and being in these clubs, not when you were on
stage, but that whole lifestyle of Well, you know, one thing I want to ask Woody
to tell you is a story he told told me for a piece we did a couple of years ago
how you took the, how in every city you bought a turntable
Yes, I had to travel, I'd go on the road. So I'd do St. Louis and Boston and San Francisco, Chicago
And I have to practice the clarinet, but I play in with records when I practice
And so I'd go to San Francisco and I wouldn't lug a record player with me
things. They had record. Yeah, I had one. Yeah, they were in suitcases. KLMs and things
And I, so I'd buy one when I hit town. And then I would leave town two weeks later or three weeks later
The job was over. I'd leave the record player. In the hotel room
In the hotel room, yeah. You just left it behind? Yeah. And I'd go to, because it was just cumbersome
Right. And I'd go to St. Louis and buy a record player. You kept buying different records playing
I'd buy a record player. Unbelievable. Every town I was in. And when I was in St. Louis, part of the deal was they gave me a salary and they put me up in a room
Not just a room. It was two and a half rooms. And they didn't have a good bathroom
I mean, it was a bathroom, a private bathroom, but it was icky to me
So I used to spend a big part of my salary going to a holiday inn
And I would go to the holiday inn, go and take a shower. You weren't registered there
I was. How did you get into the holiday inn? No, you got a room. You got a room at the holiday inn
I have to rent a room. Oh, okay. You didn't just sneak in. No, no, I'd sneak in
I'd rent a room. Right. and go in and take a shower and then go back to my job
And it was costing me a fortune to spend on renting a room
So between renting the room and buying record players, did you make any money from traveling
I was not making a lot. Rec and players were expensive back then
It wasn't that expensive. I mean, it wasn't that, I don't know, $175
So in hotels all over in that era, there's left behind record players
Yes, there were left behind record players. Someone's got a record player thinking, how did we get this
Yeah, they found the chambermaid probably. When you were playing the clarinet in your room
did anyone come and bang on the door and say, you've got to stop that? It only happened once in my life, and it was much later
That was when I was with Sunni, somewhere in England or in Europe
You're kidding. And someone said, could you stop playing? We just had a baby
And we put the baby to sleep. Did they know who you were
Yeah. And I met them in the lobby later. And I said, I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to. And they were very nice. But I didn't have that problem
I played. I'm very dedicated. So I practiced the clarinet every day
When I was in San Francisco, I was occasionally playing with Turk Murphy's jazz band sitting in
But I had to practice. But I was directing the picture. So I would
direct the movie and then go see the dailies and have dinner
And I lived in Tiburon. By the time I got home, you know, it was late
back to the hotel there. And I would get into bed and it was late
and I'd pull all the covers over my head, quilts and everything
And I would practice 11 o'clock at night very quietly in my bed
with the quilts and everything over me. I was very devoted. After a while, I started, not there, but years later
I started practicing on the job. So I practiced in the trailer
And I practiced every place, on beaches, in churches, whatever, wherever I could get a place to practice
at lunch or something. You still play now? Yeah, yeah. I'll play after, not right after you've gone
but a few hours later. And you know, you just, in the last six months
you played at some charity event. I went to that event. With the band. Did you go to the event
Yeah, it was Cafe Boulogne. I went to, I saw Woody at Cafe Boulogne
over on 64th Street. You played with the band over there. I was there
Yeah, I don't remember this job. Cafe Boulogne. Boulogne? Boulogne, Cafe Boulogne
So, 64th Street. Oh, yes, Cafe Blue. That was recent. Yeah, yeah, yeah
They were trying to get us there on a regular basis, but they ran into trouble because they need then to get a cabaret license
and a whole big deal. They can't just have us come in and play
But that was the idea of that, that I would be playing. Would you go back to Cafe Carlisle
The Cafe Carla stopped the Monday night job having show business there
because they were running into union problems. They would have to pay, I don't know what the exact mechanics were
but they'd have to pay like a whole week just if we played
Just for Monday night. So it got very... When you were writing, there's a misnomer
People assume that you worked on your show with shows, and I know that's not true
Right, I was too young. I know, that you worked on the Sid Seizure show. Yeah, yeah
And you were working in a writer's room. Did you write with Mel
Was Mel Brooks in that room? Yeah, I wrote with Mel. Was Neil Simon in that room, or was he gone already
He was gone, but I wrote with him anyhow. But I wrote with Danny and Doc
Was Larry Gelbart in there? Gelbart I wrote with many times on shows
not just for Sid Caesar. We wrote a Art Carney special. When you started writing movies
like your first couple of movies you wrote with Mickey Rose and Doug McGrath
I got to know. I used to teach a course at the New School. I showed Bullets
over Broadway. He came and talked about that. You wrote that with him. Do you like writing with other people
How does that work? I write by myself most of the time
But then after 10, 12 years of it, you know, you get lonely, you figure, well, I wouldn't write with anyone
I mean, Ricky Rose, I grew up with. So it was fun to be with him
He was a social friend. And Doug McGrath was a social friend of mine
And Marshall Brickman, you know, was a good friend of mine. So, you know, it was fun just to be in the room with him instead of being in the room alone, you know, and doing it
But most of the time I write by myself. For example, when you wrote Take the Money and Run with Mickey Rose, to reference point two great scenes
One where you were sentenced to spend three days in solitary with an insurance salesman
And another scene where you went for a job interview and you said, I'm going to have to flip over all the cards and say that you didn't guess my occupation
But did you conceive these or did Mickey Rose conceive these? We both enjoyed that
We both, you know, that's how we do. We pace the room and telling the story
And that's how you write. That's how I wrote in the Caesar show with Mel Brooks and Mel Tolkien was in the room
And that's how I wrote with Larry Gilbert. You pace and you sit down, you get up, you pace the room
Right. And everybody pitching jokes and you you know Who came up with gub Who came up with gub instead of gub Well we never say who came up with stuff
First of all, we never remember. But we never said we, the rule was always
when people ask us those questions and we did remember, it was always both of us
Collaborative. Collaborative. But I was watching that the other night and it's, the scene works because it's so serious
Because the bank manager says, well, I don't understand about the note
Come over here. Come over here. Look at this. It looks like a B, not an N
Yeah, there were amateurs. Everyone is so serious about it. There were amateur actors, local, not local people
show business people. How did you find these people? I went to San Francisco and we had, I met people
the casting person would bring in people, and I picked people who looked the part and who sounded good, you know
I got to ask you, out of all the movies that you've done
that you've been in, whether in some you didn't direct, some you were just in the movies, out of all the movies you've done
do you have a favorite comedic performance of yours where you thought you were funniest
Do you have a favorite Woody Allen comedic performance in all of your movies? And do you have a favorite performance, period
It doesn't even have to be comedic where you were in the movie. If you ask me personal favorites, I'm not saying the world would agree with this
but I thought I was funny in Broadway Danny Rose, and I thought I was funny in Manhattan Murder Mystery
That's the most fun that I had because I could be openly comic
Broadway Danny Rose. Not Sleeper. It doesn't come to my mind. You know, that was, you know, it doesn't, you know, I mean, I'm sure
I haven't seen it in 50 years, but I'm sure that I was doing
you know, doing the jokes. As far as a serious performance, also comedic to an extent
I think your work in the front was tremendous. Oh, I'm glad
I love your work in that. I mean, there was some serious parts when Zero Mostel's carrot, Hecky Brown, you know
comes to see you before he commits suicide. And you're like, I mean, you're giving a serious performance
I think it's a great performance. Comics could always do dramatic stuff, whether it was Ed Wynn or Red Buttons or, you know
Buddy Hackett on Broadway did one play, nominated for Tony. Comics could do that
It's much easier for comics to do that than the other way around
Someone that's a dramatic actor being funny. Did you doctor the script a little
Even though you're not credited as writing the front, there's lines in there, like with Andrea Marcovici
where she goes, the biggest sin in my family, you're out to dinner, the biggest sin in my family
was talking out of turn at dinner. And you go, the biggest sin in my family was buying retail
No, that's in the script. Really? That's such a Ray Allen line. That's Walter Birdson
Well, the line where you go, so you wanted to date her, and you go, she goes, well, I'm seeing somebody
And you go, so are you telling me you're a one-woman, a one-guy kind of girl
She goes, yeah, okay, so let's go out and don't bring him along. I mean, that's like a Woody Allen line
Well, Walter was writing for me in the script. He knew I was going to play that part
And he was, you know, he was including jokes. So you didn't write Woody Allen lines in there
Predominantly, that was... No, every once in a while, there'd be a moment when I would be out-libbing in there
But nothing... I mean, again, I haven't seen it in... Yeah. Since I made it
There's Alina, when you tell her that I'm practically illiterate, she goes, you're illiterate
He goes, what do you... Catch you in bed with a cashier
Maybe it's just the way you delivered it. It may have been my delivery, because these are lines that were in Walter's script
And it was such a pleasure. At the end of the day, I could go home and not think about the movie
Do you like that movie? I loved that movie. The burden was on Walter Bernstein and Marty Ritt
Do you like the movie? Did I like the movie? You're asking the wrong person
Why? Because I never liked anything that I did. You know, I always had, when I was finished putting a movie together
I always felt disappointed. I never really, until, you know, I had one or two
like Match Point or something, where I felt, oh, this came out pretty close to what I had written
It's what I want. Usually I don't. Barry Weiss in that interview that you just did with Barry Weiss
and I'm hanging on every word, and you said out of the 50 movies I did, you told Barry Weiss
I liked four movies. And the movies you mentioned were Match Point, Husbands and Wives
Midnight in Paris, and Purple Rose of Cairo. And I'm going, where are the other 11 movies
So I was wondering if you could remember any of the other 15
that you liked those particular movies. I liked Zellie. Oh, yeah. I did like Zellig and I liked Matchpoint
Did you say that? Yeah. I'm going to name a few movies that I love. Pride of Misdemeanors
Yeah. You know, Zellig is a hard film to see. For some reason, they don't show it on TV
I have it on DVD. It's such a brilliant film, though. It's one of my favorites
And even looking at if you look at it now, it's sort of even more brilliant than it used to be because you see in social media all these people turning up who are sort of nobodies and they become celebrities overnight
And now anybody who looks at these things on, you know, TikTok or YouTube and you go, these people are zealots
It's become a word. It was so much harder to do it technically then than now with the special effects and AI
Back then it was so tough to insert yourself into those scenes
This way with computers it could be done so... Yeah, now you could do it
Well, when I made my first film, Take the Money and Run, I wanted to make a documentary film
And Take the Money and Run was documentary. Interviews with the people, people talking to the camera
as in a documentary, with a narrator, Jackson Beck, narrated like he'd narrate
Yeah, he had such a newsman voice. Virgil was sentenced. Yeah, he was the old Superman on radio
Oh, really? Yeah. Really? He did many radio parts, but Superman was one of them
Give me a yes or no if you like any. These are some of my favorites. You don't have to lie, but I know you only like 15 movies
Do you like any of the following films that you've done? Blue Jasmine. Did you like Blue Jasmine I liked the girl I liked what her name Cate Blanchett Cate Blanchett You didn love the movie Well I don love any of them I would give you a no on all of them
Deconstructing Harry? Yes. None of them live up to what I thought I had
when I finished the script. And I was planning, and I feel, this is great
I've got this actor. I'll do this, and I'm going to shoot this
and then I cut it together and you're always I'm always disappointed
Were you disappointed with Mighty Aphrodite? Very Really? It's so funny I was very disappointed Why
Because it just What did you imagine that it would be? Yeah, really
I thought it would be better You know it depends on your personality
Mine's very negative in that sense. I remember going to a screening of a Sidney Lumet movie
And I loved him as a director. And there was a screening of maybe, you know, 60, 70 people there
And at the end of the movie, he was standing by the doorway
And people were saying, oh, I loved your movies. And he was saying, oh, yeah, wasn't that scene great
Wasn't that scene wonderful? Isn't she lovely? Wasn't that beautiful? and I'm thinking to myself
I can't imagine myself in this lifetime doing that. First of all, I would never
be around at the end of the movie When I interviewed you on the red carpet
for one of your movies, you did the red carpet you walked in the movie and then I was
the crew was unpacking and two minutes you walked right out, you didn't stay for the movie
I know, I wouldn't stay for the movie I know, you don't stay for the movie
No, I've seen the movie enough in editing and Yeah, I get that
But what about Hannah and her sisters? That's a complete, it's almost like a novel
Were you disappointed with that? It's in three acts. It's very well shaped. You know, it's really kind of a masterpiece
I had a much harsher ending on it, because I failed during the making of the film to justify that ending
So when I had the original ending in the picture, the pictures went along
and when it came to the ending, it's like it fell off the table. I couldn't have that ending
So I had to shoot an ending where it ended, and you didn't feel, oh, what a disappointment
Were you disappointed with Bullets Over Broadway? No. I loved that movie
The period films were among my favorites. Bullets Over Broadway and... Radio Days
Purple Rose and Radio Days and Midnight in Paris. Anything period. There's a shot in Bullets Over Broadway
It's driven me nuts for years. It's gorgeous. It's Diane Wiest and John Cusack
And they're sitting behind this beautiful, these pink flowers. Oh, it's in Central Park
Oh, that's Central Park. I'm going, where is this? I want to take my wife to this point. It's in Mount Sinai Hospital, but right off Fifth Avenue
Question answered. Ten years I've been dying to know where that shot was. If you walk up to, at the right season, if you walk up to Mount Sinai Hospital and go into the park up there, there's a park
There's a very fancy little tiny park, and it's there. On the west side or on the east side
On the east side, right off the subway. Really? I thought it was in Brooklyn somewhere. No, no, no
Wow. So we did shoot a certain amount of that picture in Prospect Park
Chaz told me that he improvised at the end when John, and I don't know if this is true, you can verify it
at the end when he's dying and he tells John Cusack, in the last act, blah, blah, blah, I want you to change this
And John Cusack goes, oh, right, don't speak. Which was, he said, Chaz said I came up with that
And when he goes, I love it. Yes, I loved it, but I don't think it's in the
I don't, I think he told me that after the picture, I may be misremembering
I don't think you'll find that in the picture, I think. No, he says don't speak to John Cusack in the picture
Right before he dies, John Cusack says something and he goes, don't speak
Does he do that? Yeah, which Diane Wee says throughout the whole thing. Don't speak, don't speak
I get the joke, but for some reason I had the feeling he told me that and I said to him
you know, why didn't you tell me this earlier? Oh, okay. But maybe I'm wrong
I can't remember the pictures. Were you disappointed with Annie Hall? Listen, Annie Hall was, first of all, Annie Hall was supposed to be a very different kind
of picture. It was Aunt Hedonia, right? It was supposed to be a stream of consciousness picture
And I cut it all together. And I looked at it. And I had Marshall Brickman come in and look at it
Marshall co-wrote it with me. And he couldn't make heads or tails out of it
It was incoherent. Because stream of consciousness is hard to make work
so then I had to start from scratch and re-edit the whole picture
then I came to the end of the picture and I couldn't get a good ending
and I shot the ending five times with Sigourney Weaver with this actress
I mean I can't tell you what a nightmare it was You know, I'm doing it
Watching it again because of Diane last week. And I think this is I wanted to ask you about this as far as Diane goes
The reason everyone's very upset about Diane and she's obviously lodged in people's consciousness, you know, in their in their movie memory
She has a very strong persona. And even though she was in lots of good movies, Reds was good and Baby Boom and all that, Annie Hall is what they remember
It's such a strong image. Because we were exploiting her natural persona in that movie
I mean, she could act in those other movies and she was a wonderful actress
But in Annie Hall, you were getting the Diane Keaton that you used to get offstage
That's how she was. and to meet her was to fall in love with her
Everybody that met her fell in love with her. She was just so charming and so eccentric and so funny
You know, I never heard a bad word about her in any way
In a way, as the movie builds, when you finally get to the montage
where Alvy is remembering all those great things, that montage is what brings it all together
Do you remember making that with Ralph? No, I had written a murder mystery, which later turned out to be Manhattan murder mystery
I had written a murder mystery And at the end of the murder mystery I had included a montage like that a nostalgic montage
And we didn't have that ending in Annie Hall. And we were groping and days went by in the cutting room
We tried this, we tried that. Then I suggested this kind of montage
And Ralph said, yes, we could always do a... He had a name for it that I, not a nostalgia montage
but some kind of thing. And I said, you know, we could try that
Once we tried that, it was clear. Did you ever, in your wildest dreams
when you were making that movie, realize that it would be the, I mean
I've seen all your movies, and I love so many of your movies
but that movie just connects with so many people. Did you ever think, I mean, it won the best picture
I mean, did you ever think that? No, we never had any idea
Marshall and I finished it. We wanted to, we brought it to UA, and we wanted to name it Anadonia
which is a psychological malfunction where you can't get pleasure out of anything
but it's a serious affliction. And the people in USA, we can't call it Anadonia
You know, it's a very nice picture. Then we wanted to call it Sweethearts
But Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy had made a picture called Sweethearts
so we couldn't do that. And we didn't know what to call it
We didn't think we had anything special. But everybody fell in love with that picture
Did you ever think of calling it like Alvie instead of Annie Hall, like Alvie and Annie or something
Yes, we sort of called it Alvie and Annie and Annie and Alvie
and we thought of calling it small portions because at the beginning life was so terrible
but the food appears off. Right, the opening in a movie. Yeah, and we thought of
and Marshall Brickman wanted to call it, he suggested to them Dr. Shenanigans
I mean, we, and then finally, I knew Keaton's real name was Hall
So I called it Annie Hall. But you had, I interrupted you, you were saying everybody fell in love with that picture
It's true, everybody did fall in love with that movie. Yeah, I mean, we didn't envision that
We hoped for the best when we put it out, but people loved it
They just, you know, all over the country. They just. I remember what it was like when Manhattan came out
because you knew it wasn't the sequel to Annie Hall, but it was the reunion of Annie Hall
And Manhattan is the most romantic picture ever. Manhattan was also one of those pictures where I couldn't figure out
when the picture was over. And I've said this before. I offered to make a free picture for United
States if they would not put it out. Yeah, I heard you don't like Manhattan
I didn't like it. Even that opening sequence with Gershwin? I like the opening sequence because it's George Gershwin's music
And we were in the middle of shooting in Central Park one day and someone said, hey, you know, tonight there's going to be
a fireworks show in New York and it's going to be great out here
So at the end of the day, we packed up and we went to an apartment
One of the guys on the crew had a friend who had an apartment in Central Park West with a good view
So we went up there and shot all that stuff with the Gershwin music
Yeah, I like that montage, but I had many reservations about it
Now, Woody, when you and Diane finally run into Wally Shawn, that's hysterical
I just saw Wally Sean, by the way, last week. He sends his best to you
We talked about Rivkin a lot. And when he, what's his name
Leonard? What's the boyfriend's, I can't remember the character's name. What movie
In Manhattan, where she's talking about her boyfriend who sucks a sexual dynamo
I don't know what his name was. He sucks a sexual dynamo and you said he's a humunculus
I can still remember being in the Beekman Theater and falling into the aisle laughing
The crew, when Wally came on the set, the crew was hysterical
But that was the triumph of Juliet Taylor's. I didn't know Wally from A Hole in the Wall, and I was trying to cast that part
And she said, and she introduced me to Wally Sean. And, you know, it's a no-brainer the same minute you see it
You say to Diane, this is the guy? This is the guy
You, you, you, that opening sequence in Manhattan, which you do like where you were, and you always romanticize
I'm a native New Yorker. And I told you, I live around the corner from you. And I lived here, I lived in New York all my life
You romanticize the city. The city has changed. I've seen, and so you've seen it change dramatically over the decades
Are you still in love with New York the same way that you were, let's say, from decades ago
I've lived here, you've lived here. It has changed. I love the city and I wouldn't live anyplace else
But it definitely, to me, is not as, the whole world is not as good as it was some years ago
I think if we could go back, well, first of all, before I was born
it was a knockout in the 20s. It would be really fantastic
But now you're doing Midnight in Paris. You're waxing nostalgic about an era that we can't live in anymore
Yeah, that you can't live in. And the 30s were also great in New York, and the 40s were great in New York
In the 50s, it started in the mid-50s to ebb away a little
and it's never really been the same as that. It's when the theater was an 840 curtain, not an 8 o'clock curtain
I remember that. People could have dinner, go to the theater. Afterwards, you could go to a supper club
You could go to nightclubs in New York. It was just a different..
Wasn't that part of... I always think that has a lot to do with TV coming in
With what? With TV. because when TV came in, theater started to change
because people were getting the theater on TV. TV was one of the things
Another one was many people moved to the suburbs as New York became less affordable, and they moved to the suburbs
And so they didn't want to leave the theater at 11 or quarter after 11
and go out to Long Island or to Connecticut. So they moved the curtain up, you know, to an earlier curtain
And also the music changed. You didn't get, you know, Lerner and Lowe and Cole Porter and Rodgers and Hart anymore
The music started to change. were kind of music that was not as appealing to me
How sad is it? I'm living on the Upper East Side for over 40 years
and where I live now, if you go back 15 years ago
there were at least 14 movie theaters in a seven-block radius of my apartment
There was the Beekman, there was the Sutton, there was the 58th Street Playhouse, there was the Gotham
I could just rattle them all up. There's one left, Cinema 1, 2, 3
across the street from The Coronet and The Baronet. Gone. We used to line up at The Baronet for your
movies. How sad are you? People sometimes are like, what movie are we going to
tonight? I miss that tremendously. When I started in the movie business, there
were all those movie houses you're talking about, and there were those Upper West Side art houses
The region where you did it. The New Yorker. You film that scene in Washington and the Regency and the Thalia
And, I mean, it's all gone. Yeah. Yeah. All that's gone. That whole thing is gone
And, you know, yeah. But that's a different phenomenon. That's the movie business has changed, in my opinion, for the worse over the years
It's no fun to make a movie and have to beg the backers of the movie to have one week or two weeks in a movie theater
and then it goes right to town. Do you think we'll ever see another Woody Allen movie
I don't know. It depends. I have a lot of trouble getting backing in the United States
I feel like I saw you instantly with Ed Walson in a picture
in the newspaper, where you were maybe in Spain, and in the last year that you were looking at locations
is that possible? I could make a movie if I wanted to go to Spain
if I wanted to go to Argentina, if I wanted to go to Russia. All these places have offered to back a movie if I would make one there
But I don't feel so much like living three months. Right. Didn't you do Love It
Were you in Russia when you did Love and Death? No, no, no. I was in Paris and I was in Budapest
But when I was in Budapest, it was occupied by Russian troops
And we used hundreds of Russian troops on a movie. They had nothing to do
They were occupying Budapest, and there was no war in Budapest, no uprising
So there were hundreds of Russian troops there. Did they know who you were
I don't think so. And they could march perfectly. So how did you pick this location
It was financial. I had a certain amount of money to make that film
It was probably, at most, $2 million. I know you don't like a lot of the movies, but do you ever look back fondly on the first
five films, which were strictly comedies like Sleeper, like Take the Money and Run, and Bananas
I know you didn't direct play it against Sam and it was a play first, but these are funny movies
Do you have any fondness for them at all? I can watch those. I have fondness when I think of the experience. I liked shooting Take the Money and Run
But the thrill for me was that I was going to start shooting the first day in San Quentin
And I figured, oh, God, I'm going to get into this legendary prison
I'm going to see prisoners. I'm going to see cell blocks and, you know, the kitchen, the laundry, the place
You know, that's what interested me. I was, you know, the jokes to me were easy
I do it and I knew what I wanted to see. But the thought of being in San Quentin was, and then we shot in San Bruno, another prison
And it was, you know, miserable. That was exciting. You know, it's funny, when you look back at Sleeper, see how decades have passed
you actually had to spend a few minutes of the movie explaining to the audience what cloning was
Because nobody knew what cloning was. Cloning is the process of where you, and like now everybody knows what cloning is
But at the time you had to explain cloning. Explain it. Yeah. How did you know what cloning was
We knew what cloning was. And probably more people knew than I was comfortable
You know, probably more people knew. But we, you know, we couldn't take a chance
Were those sets tough? I mean, it's the whole futuristic thing in Sleeper with, you know
you had all these guys in white makeup with the assembly line
when they were cracking the people's heads off in Sleeper. We found those places
We had a great art director, Dale Hennessy, and we found those places
We shot some of that picture in Colorado. And we found that house, for example
and it can't exist to this day in Colorado. Because we didn't have the money to build elaborate sets
or to build futuristic stuff. Well, the set and everything, the last, the Tony Randall
The last skit and everything you skit sketch and everything you sequence and everything goes on to know about sex in the that takes place in the body
That was a pretty elaborate set. But not elaborate financially. We found a house in California, a big, big mansion
And we were able to do like five locations in that house without moving
Really? Yeah, and we just spooced up this room and that room
I want to ask you about two more recent movies. I don't want this to be all the old movies
First of all, Timothee Chalamet, you haven't seen it yet. There's a movie he's coming out in called Marty Supreme
He's probably going to win the Oscar. That's how good it is. You really established him in Rainy Day in New York
Well, he was in that movie and he was very good in it because he's a very good actor
And I haven't seen that movie yet, but it's a very Damon Runyon-esque character
He's running his mouth all the time. He gets into a lot of trouble. And since Rainy Day in New York, it's probably the best thing that he's done
Well, I'm sure. But he's a very good actor. I mean, all I did was cast him in a movie and tell him after I cast him he had to sing
but he rose to that occasion and you had Selena Gomez who's become a big star
because of the Only Murders in the Building have you ever seen Only Murders in the Building
I've never seen that, no you know it's a take off on Manhattan Murder Mysteries oh is it? no
it's totally the movie version the TV version of that movie where they go around solving murders
in their building every week just the way you and Diane did in the building
Speaking about your more recent films you probably don know this but my favorite film of the year I do a top 10 list of the year last year was Coup de Chant I love that film I loved that film I enjoyed making that film because I got a chance to live in Paris
for a few months, and it was fun to make it. And I told you before we started rolling
that, I don't know if you remembered, that my mother did intensive sessions with you
My mother was French, and she did intensive sessions of teaching you French
This was like 20 some odd years ago. And I'm wondering when you made Coup de Chant, if you retained, I mean, it's a Woody Allen movie in French with English subtitles. If you retained any of the French language
I did retain enough to get by. But in France, as in every place in Europe, everybody speaks English
Right. So, you know, I almost never had to use the smattering of French that I know, you know, because the cast spoke English
Can you understand the scenes? I interviewed Lou Delange and I said, did you improvise anything
And she goes, no, Woody's script, we just did it in French
And she's fabulous in that movie, by the way. She's great. She was a wonderful actress and beautiful
Beautiful. I never heard of her. I went over there and they showed me some footage here of her
And I said, who is that girl? She's so beautiful. And she was a wonderful actress
Did you understand when they were shooting, like, if you're looking at a scene and it's in English and you go
changed. I don't know. Did you understand? If you see Kurosawa film, you know
when someone's acting great, you know, or someone is okay and they're fine, but
you know, my God, what a gripping performance. The language doesn't matter. And I
knew what they were saying because I wrote it. They were saying what I wrote. So I
knew what was going on. But of course, the thing, of course, about that movie is the twist at the end
Don't give it away. I won't give it away, but I can remember, I think you remember I saw it in your screening room
and all the people in the screening room gasped. It's great. It's one of the great turns in film
Well, Stroke of Luck, which is translated, yeah, the whole thing is a stroke of luck. Yeah, I love, I love, love, love that movie
I had a very good time making that. That was the last time I was in Paris
I wish I could make another. I'd be glad to make a movie in Paris
I mean, it doesn't have to be, you know, New York. I'd like to make one in New York, but I have real trouble getting back in here
You know who wants to make a movie with you is Catherine Deneuve. Catherine Deneuve, yeah
Do you know about that? I never had anything for her. You know, when I heard about this, she was an older woman, and I didn't have a part, you know, for an older woman
She still has it. I have to tell you, I've seen her in person, and she still has it
She's still Catherine Deneuve. I'm sure she's, you know, sharp as could be, but you can't cast her as a college student
It's a problem. I know you have a million ideas. You've said you've, you tell Barry, I have a million ideas for movies
If you could, like just in a line, if you had, if somebody gave you financing and you said, make a movie, Woody
do you have like in one line, do you know the movie you'd want to make? Or would you not even want to share that information
I wouldn't share it, but I do know the movie I would like to make
And, you know, and that would be a strictly a New York movie
And if someone gave me the money, I would make it. But the thought of going, yes, to Paris, that's fine
That's much better. You know. He said, I wish I had the money
I am so desperate for another Woody Allen. I wish I had the money
I am not a rich man. I wish I had the money to give you to make another movie. Could this be a movie? Could it be a movie
Could what if? Yes, that could be a movie. Sure. Would you think of making this
But the only problem is I'm too old to play the lead
and I know exactly how it should be played. Oh, but in the movie you want to make
if you were going to make one more, you would be in it. No, no, I wouldn't be
No, I have an idea for a movie with me, but no, I wouldn't be in it
I have an idea for a good movie, but in New York
but it can't be done in Paris or London or places. What are the odds on it actually happening if you had to handicap it
10% chance that actually we'd get to see another film? 50-50 if you had to handicap it
You never know because I've had situations where someone will call me up from another city and say
I've always wanted to back one of your movies. Is it possible
and we say yes but you realize all you could do is
put the money in a round paper bag and you wouldn't have anything to say. I wouldn't tell you
who's going to see anything about it. You couldn't read it. You can't come on the set
On the set I don't mind because they drift around the background. They don't
bother me but I wouldn't let them read the script and I wouldn't. Sometimes someone will
say, yes, we'll back a movie, but you've got to give us a list
of five people, ten people, whatever, that you'll use one of them. And one of them that you want to use
But I can't do that because for a lot of reasons. Talk about not reading the script
I saw a funny interview on your channel. Somebody had clipped this out of the interviews where Tom Hiddleston from Midnight
in Paris, ran into Owen Wilson on the set, apparently, in Paris
And Owen Wilson said to him, why are you dressed like that? And he said, it's a period movie
And Owen Wilson said to him, no, it's not. I'm regular. I'm dressed
They had no idea from only reading their pages that they were in the same movie together
That's so funny. I can't imagine. And he said, Owen Wilson got scared
And he said, well, maybe I'm not doing the right thing. if this is a period movie
I can't see how he could. Well, now when they say it
it really starts off as a contemporary movie. Right, right. He said, here I am, I'm dressed properly
and you're dressed as F. Scott Fitzgerald. You're such a private person
and I know you value your privacy, and you don't like to go to award shows
and all of this stuff. But what's incongruous to me is I know you used to go to Elaine's like for 10 years, like almost every night, which
is the complete opposite of that. No no Elaine was great because nobody ever bothered you at Elaine So all show people or writers Nobody ever ever ever asked for an autograph or spoke to you
It was great. And Elaine always protected you. I always sat at the same table
And it was great because it was so celebrity-packed and literary figures and publishers and you never had any problem
I was the least famous person at Elaine's. Well, you featured it in two movies, so, and particularly Manhattan
Manhattan, yeah. It says Elaine on the outside. It remade Elaine's as a famous place
You know, people wanted to go there after that. Well, no, no, but Elaine's was very in place when I used it
But, I mean, I had seen people there. You know, you would see at one table would be the mayor
At another table would be, I saw Simone de Beauvoir there at one table
Really? Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was amazing. She used to say to me, Elaine, I'd be sitting with her
and she'd see a famous person would come in, and she'd say, go over there and talk to them because she knows a journalist
So she'd say, go over there and introduce yourself. And I'd say, I'm too scared to do it
One night it was Phil Spector with 10 bodyguards all wearing guns, you know, that kind of thing
But I would go over and I'd say, Elaine sent me over. Then they would say, sit down. You can talk to us
Yeah, she took me by the hand and brought me to Simone de Beauvoir's table
She did? Yeah. And then a subsequent interview with Simone de Beauvoir, she said, I met Woody Allen there, but I'm sure he didn't know who I was
Now, the truth of the matter is I'm probably one of the few people that had read her book there, the second section
There's so much philosophy in Love and Death. Did you know all of it in advance, or was it stuff you integrated as you were reading
No, most of it I knew. You knew it. Most of it I knew. Yeah, I'm a big philosophy fan
I mean, I like to read philosophy, and I enjoy it. It's pleasurable reading for me
When they lapse into those conversations in Love and Death, it's absolutely stunning
It's so funny. First of all, it's hilarious that they're saying it. And then you have to really listen to what they're saying
Yeah, I always made good philosophy jokes, particularly in my prose stuff
Not in this book, but in the things I wrote for The New Yorker. Right. And I'd been asked to talk on philosophy shows that would have on a real philosopher, but I never wanted to do it
I always felt, you know, I can be funny about it, but I can't really hold my own in terms of profundity or deepness or depth
I don't know about that. I think you could. In What's With Bown, I spend a lot of time in the Hamptons
and you have this section. It's very, very funny where you're just cutting apart
all these pretentious people in the Hamptons, and I was laughing out loud reading about it
And I don't know, have you ever spent, I mean, I know you filmed a scene in Annie Hall out there
but you just nailed some of these idiots. I haven't spent time out there
but I've filmed out there a number of times because it's pretty
out by the beach. And I've filmed out there. And my wife likes to visit friends out there
So I go out there and I'll do like one night's sleepover, you know
But I don't like it. I'm sorry. But I don't like it. I don't like, you know
But you knew the people. when you're talking what's with them. The people are the same people that I see here
Marshall Brickman used to say the Hamptons was a million Central Park West
I love these things like Sydney Cantor, the CEO of a hedge fund
throws a Frisbee to the dog. Max Koch recommended it to C.F. Klein
She sued her plastic surgeon. These are all – also, I didn't know what jar earrings were
I had to look them up. How did you know what they were? I knew because my wife knows and I learned by osmosis
I never bought one, but I knew. That's good, Roger. That's the exact passage that I was talking about
The other ones I like are a drunk gets guacamole on the Gilman's Rothko
Yes. These are things that you laugh out loud when you're reading the book, you know
Hopefully. Did you first have to buy the book? That's the problem. That's the obstacle I can never get over
Well, let's talk about the book for a minute. Did you enjoy writing the book? I mean, your process, you write a screenplay, and then you have to film it, and then you have to edit it and score it and pick the music, and this is just the writing part of it
Is it difficult? Did you enjoy it? And if you write something and you don't like it, you just tear up the pages and throw them away
Once I film something and I don't like it, it's $150,000 to film something else and substitute for it
You can't refilm, whereas you can rewrite endlessly. Did you rip up a lot of stuff here
Yeah, yeah. It's your first novel, and it's a different style of writing
than writing a screenplay. Was it difficult? Is it something you had to kind of like learn
or did it come very naturally? I never do anything that's difficult
I'm too lazy. Really? Yeah. If it had been difficult, I'd have abandoned it
Did you enjoy the experience? Yeah, I enjoyed it because I get up in the morning
I can do my stupid exercises, which I hate, to try and keep in shape
and then I can flop down on my bed where I write
and just leave them and I'm here. And, you know, I'm not, I don't have to go drive
two and a half hours out to the Hamptons to shoot a scene on the beach and I'm freezing
and I'm hungry and I, you know, then I don't like the scene when I see it in dailies
So can we expect more novels from you? Maybe, that may be, you know
And that's also easier for me to write it and just put it out
I don't have to get it distributed. I don't have to do all those things that make it cumbersome
Could we have a series of Sidney Bowne books? A series? Yeah, a series of books where he's the lead character
I have an idea for another book, but I don't know. When you mention it, probably it's the same character with a different name
How did you come up with him? Because he lives in the country where he says he doesn really like living and you don like being in the country So there he is stuck in the country In an uncomfortable situation deliberately I wanted you to see him unraveling
Why does he have such an antipathy toward his brother? He really
suspects his brother of sleeping with his wife. Yeah, but he's a little crazy
I'm not sure his brother did sleep with his wife. You have a scene
I keep saying scenes. because you have a sequence in the book where I've always fantasized about this
This is before I was married. I'd see a pretty girl on the street and just say hello or something
And in this case, it was in a, not a bodega or a market or something
And Baum goes and rings all the bells, the buzzes. And I'm like, gee, what a missed opportunity
I should have just followed up. And I'm going like, it's like a fan
Like I should have followed that girl, you know. It's a fantasy. In real life, you can't do that
No, you can't. They take you away. But it was funny. It was very funny
Funny is one thing, but if you try it in real life, they don't like it
Were you funny as a kid? Yeah, I was always funny. Even as a little kid, you were making kids look..
Yes, I was always funny. And it saved me because when I was in high school
All my friends were going to college to become doctors and architects and lawyers and things
I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I found that I could write jokes
And from the minute I started, I was successful. I mean, I was immediately successful at it
So it saved my life. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had a good profession
I wasn't good in school. Did telling jokes get you in trouble in school
No. Jokes got me in trouble. Yes, I did. I used to joke in school
And with your parents? And my parents would have to come. My mother would have to come to school because the jokes would sometimes be salacious
Salacious? Really? That's funny. Yeah, teachers never were encouraging of making jokes
Back then in those days, they would never go, that's funny. That's very good. They would always look down on you if you would tell a joke
Yeah, you were a wise guy. Yeah, they didn't like that. I didn't realize that
It was not one of their... But when I went to school, you know
it was not like my kids going to school. When they go to school, when they went to school
you know, it was nice, and the teachers were friendly and open
Right. You know, with us, they were, you know, Martinets. Yeah, yeah
Blue-haired Martinets. Oh, yes. You know, like the ones in Annie Hall. I know you're never political
and I'm not going to get into a political discussion, but are you, with everything that's going on
You were talking about the world and this country. Are you worried at all about what's going on
and where this country could be in a number of years? Yeah, I am
I am. I do think we're going through a very tricky period
and hopefully we'll come out of it. I think we will. Do you think we'll survive
I think it's a neck-and-neck race. I don't think it's any, I'm not as sanguine as I was, but I think it's a neck and neck race
You know, and I think probably we will. But, you know, because it's hard to imagine that the whole country
But, you know, there's a lot of people here with some very scary thoughts
And I'm not thrilled about that. Do you watch the news a lot
I watch the news, yeah. I watch the news. I'm going out tonight, but if I would have watched the debate between Mandani and Cuomo
I'm a Cuomo voter. Only because I think... We all are. We all are, yes
I think he would do better for New York. Yeah, I wonder if Mondani wins, which the polls are saying he will
I just, our beloved city, I wonder what's going to happen to that
I don't know if you have any thoughts on that. I don't think, you know, I mean, maybe he'll be fine
He's, you know, but his basic thrust is humane. but I don't know if he can handle New York City
It's such a problematic city and such a tough city to handle
And we haven't had, we've had some mayors that could do it
but we've had some that can't. And I just hope that he is able to
but I have more faith that Cuomo would be a better choice
for running the city. He'd run New York better. Things would run better
People got very excited when you talked about Donald Trump a couple of weeks ago
Yeah, I was only talking about him. I directed him. And I'm one of the few people he took direction from
I was giving him orders, and he was very good. People said you were praising him, so they got very nervous
They were like, oh, he likes Donald Trump. No, I didn't vote for Donald Trump. I voted for Kamala Harris
I'm a Democrat. Right. But, you know, but as a performer, he was polite and efficient
You know, he did all the right things and he was good. He has a theatrical personality
You know, I'm not going to lie about that because I differ with him on political matters
On theatrical matters, he was fine. Maybe he could go back to that
Yes, I would like to... Would you direct him again? Now, yeah
Straighten the country out, I think. Woody, thank you. Thank you. I got to tell you..
Okay, well, thanks for coming by, and thanks for getting behind my book
The book is What's With Bown. If you love Woody Allen films, this is..
I laughed out loud, and I rarely laugh out loud when I'm reading something, but many times I laugh out loud
Because there are sequences in the book that come to a punchline that's so unexpected
Yeah, that's my thing. That's your thing. And that's when you feel like you're really sort of floating through the book
It's a wonderful feeling. Yeah, it's not a tough read, you know, but it is as long as The Great Gatsby
And it's longer than most of the stuff that Joseph Conrad wrote
Yes, longer than The Heart of Darkness, absolutely. So I thought it was respectable
but thanks for coming by. Thank you. Oh, yeah