Made it to be a heart
Basically all 204 at this point. And this is friendships. Honestly, 2024, a lot of you guys are giving, oh, it's my me year
It's all about me, me, me, me, me, me. me, me, me. But let's talk about your circle. Let's talk about the friends. And I know that's always a hot topic online
but I've been seeing a slew of TikToks of just people that's just angry, tired, frustrated with the
fact that they don't got no friends. It's like a trend, like to be like why I don't have any friends
Like you see a lot of videos that's giving that. And to be honest, in my opinion, that's not cute
You were not meant to live in this life completely in isolation. Not having people
people to relate to outside of your family or your partner, I feel like that's weird
And I'm going to give you guys some of the reasons as to why I feel like Gen Z, particularly
is struggling with the concept of friendship. Gen Z as a whole is very individualistic
So much content now that's like, oh, I'm the it girl. How to be the it girl
Best years of your life. How to get out of your lazy girl era. It's a lot of like me, me, me content, main character syndrome
And I think that that's one thing that this generally. really struggles with. It be the top and everybody else kind of has to cater to them
And I feel like when did we get to this point where we don't really take regards for others
You see, a lot of people will look up videos about how to be prettier, hygiene routine
how to dress better. But you never see people say how to enhance their social skills
You never see people looking up how to speak in front of a bunch of people
You know, you guys are always concerned about the physical. And you know how I feel about the
physical in this channel. It's important, but not the only thing. Skills like networking
navigating social scenarios, emotional intelligence will take you even further in life than just
how you look. And people don't really care about those things. I first started my globe journey
I, you know, was like, oh, once the physical's on point, everything will come together. No
I still found myself having social anxiety. I still found myself socially awkward. Trying to get those
life skills that are actually going to take you to the next level. Girl, and everybody else has to come to me
So what that does is it doesn't even allow you to actually make friends. Like, it just makes you feel like everybody else has to come to you and everybody just
will gravitate towards you. Nobody is that too waste street industry. You have to give energy to people
It's not just about how you look. They always say, oh, if you look so good, like you'll radiate
No, you have to work on your personality, babes. Nobody wants to be friends with somebody that just sit in their house all day and watch Netflix and YouTube all day
People want to be friends with people that they can learn from that's outgoing, that's fun to be around, that's smart, that actually has things in common with them
And a lot of people, they're not really focused, they're just focused on the outside
But I used to be friends with like the baddies. Yes, a lot of people like wanted to be friends with these girlies, but I'll tell you
one thing who they were as people was like some of the worst people i've ever encountered
they just thought that because people always like to give them attention and stuff they didn't
really feel like the need to work on being like a better person or being more understanding or not
talking like these girls they will always talk crap about everybody as long you just have to
they talk about you you go they talk about you you go they talk about you like every time they always talking about you And I was in that group like kind of like you know because I can you know I can say my little stuff and I can like make jokes
But for me, it was literally just a joke. But for them, like, they meant what they said
You should always focus on yourself and make yourself priority, but you should also learn how to
interact with people. You know, you should also learn how to speak with people and how to build relationships because
that's what's going to sustain you in this world. like building the right relationships
Another thing that I think that really, really plagues our generation when it comes to friendships is a lot of us have unheeled friendship trauma
Like a lot of you guys have not healed. You're not healing
No, it's not giving healing. It's giving somebody hurt me in the eighth grade
And ever since then, I put my on people's necks. And you really can't do that
I had this friend, I'm gonna call her Peggy. And Peggy was like not my best friend in life
but was a friend that I had for a very long time. It had redeemable qualities, but some of the things
that she did that was wrong, it was wrong. Like she needed you, she would like call you
and she would want you to help her out and stuff like that, which I gladly did because I am the generous queen
just asked Ms. Ellen. But when I needed her help, it was questionable
if she was gonna be there for me. And she was also one of those people
that you know, as to know those kind of friends that you have, when they see people that they think are like more aesthetic
or like better than you, they kind of like switch their tune. Like they still talk to you and stuff
but they like act differently around different groups of people. And like you can tell that they care about this set of people more than
So she was friends with these fake people that I still feel like
are kind of fake to this day, but let me keep my mouth. And anytime Peggy would have a problem with these girlies
she would like always come to me and just be talking to me about all the problems that she had
And like I would always say the same stance. I don't feel like they're 10 toes down
But Peggy, like because she was so concerned about the aesthetics of the friendship or whatever
she would always like feel like they were her real friends or stuff. And I would just, but what really ruined my relationship with her was that one of the people that she was friends with like was talking
crazy about me he was talking crazy about me he was talking so much crap about me and he was
like really had his foot on my neck for various reasons but he really had an issue with me
I rejected him basically that's what happened so um he was talking crap about me and he was talking
crap about me with peggy trying to like say things he said he was gonna expose me at some point
like it was crazy do you want to know what peggy did peggy told me what he said but what did
she said she said I shouldn't go back and confront him I'm like so I get mad at her
because I'm like you're supposed to have my bag why I had to go Jocelyn Hernandez I
say why are you talking about me with that ass Nicco that's how that's really how I
felt like why are you talking about me anytime somebody tells you something bad that
somebody said about you in a conversation that they had together I always get mad
at the messenger because why does that person feel comfortable saying something bad about me
to you so because she had done that you know it really put a stain in our friendship another
instance where this girl did this to me was there was this girl named j w who i wasn't really
too cool with because basically j w i'm not called her j w because she was a jehovah's witness
j w right she was she was i was talking to this boy at the time and i was telling you
JW about it at the time and why when some things went down with me and the boy and I went to JW because again when I was dealing with the guy she was talking to me a lot I told her like what I was going through why did JW ghost me and never respond to my text message
When I was trying to reach out to her when I was in trouble So I always wrote JW as a weird old girl like Peggy get cool with JW mind you she doesn't know that me and JW kind of fell out
We didn't fall out I just noted her as just not like a person and never spoke to her again. So Peggy and when that guy and
some other people that Peggy was friends with, they weren't really talking to her like that
She becomes cool with Jade. Peggy talks about me, like how she's been talking to me lately
to JW and then JW want to tell Peggy she got a beef with me. I'm like, wait, how she got
beef with me? She just out here creating imaginary beef. How do you have beef with me? So I'm
So Peggy comes to tell me that, oh, J.W. feels like I got a problem with her
I'm like, wait, how do I got, wait, why are we beefing
And J.W. standing on business. Like, she's standing on business that me and her got an issue
I'm like, girl, do you just want to beef? Like, girl, what is wrong with you
I am the generous queen just asked Ms. Ellen again. And I, you know, I squash the beef with J.W
Basically I said that girl, when I needed you, you didn't respond
So I don't feel like we have any fresh yet, but we're cool
Like, I can see you in the street and say hi, but we're not friends
She was like, oh, I didn't know what to say, but you knew what to say when you were all up in my business
Peggy want to get upset with me because I don't want to be friends with JW. I was like, you know why I don't want to be friends with J.W
You know why I don't want to be friends with this girl. On story short, like Peggy tells me you're always trying to fight you
with all of her friends. Can you imagine? I'm trying to fight with all of your friends
The friends that use you and dump you and cause you problems and you be coming to me to
come in and complain about them. I'm trying to beef with all of your friends. I have beef with all
of your friends. Girl, re-evaluate your friends cycle. Long behold. Four months later
J.W. cuts Peggy off with the quickness. I don't know what happened between those two
but J.W. cut Peggy off. So Peggy now, run. comes back to me trying to tell me that, oh, J.W. cut her off. La-da-da-da. I told her, no. I don't want to hear
anything. I already told you, J.W. a weirdo. I already told you. She weird. I already said that
And you felt that you valued your friendship with her more than me. So why are you coming to me
And friendship trauma is something that a lot of us in this generation are going through
And I think that's the root of the issue, is that we don't know how to go get over our friendship
trauma. But just as I've mentioned anecdotes of friends that I've had that have been so bad to me
I've also had really good friends. I've also had a lot of friends where I'm like, have been
10 toes down for me who have come through to me in ways that I could never imagine. I've had some
people that have done things for me that my friends in the past have never done for me and value
me and give me the same type of love I give back. But I had to be open
Even though all this stuff with Peggy and all these girlies was really pissing me off and really damp in my spirit, I never let that lose sight of having good friends
When you go through a friendship trauma, you have to kind of understand that, hey, this happened and acknowledge that it happened
One thing because of my situation with Peggy, one thing that I learned from that situation is I took a lesson from actually both of those friendships I just told you
You need to compartmentalize your friendships You have to compartmentalize I realized that Peggy was probably not a friend that I should have said was a close friend She should have never had that category in my life
She should have just been like a go-out friend, an acquaintance, just somebody that I see
every once in all. She should have never had any level of depth in my life because she is not capable of giving
me that kind of death that I want in a friendship. So she should be placed in a category, just like you guys place your dudes
or your women in a category, place your friends in a category
And ever since I started doing that kind of mid-college into now, when you do something
and I'm like, ooh, okay, I don't have a problem rearranging where people fit in my life
Because the issue is that with this generation, anytime something happens, people just become
more closed off, closed off. You can't let people have that kind of power in your life
You cannot have, when they do something, just rearrange the friendship. unless they do something that really crosses your boundaries, then cut them off
But you guys be cutting somebody off because they didn't post you on their birthday. But if everything else in the friendship is fine, just rearrange where they fall in your life
You don't have to make it a drama. You don't have to make it because if you keep every single person that do you wrong one or two, one time
you're never going to have any friends. You have to learn how to readjust with people
You got to learn how to, okay, maybe, okay, she's not the type of friend that I'm going to tell my business
to because the last time I told my business to her, it got out. So maybe I just keep it strictly
professional with her. If those of you who are Christian or believe in a higher power or just
have ways that you calm yourself down and have your happy place, sometimes you guys have got to do
that, you know? I know for me like growing my relationship, growing my faith has really
helped me not care a lot about what these little friendships do every once in a while. It's grounded me
It's giving me truth. It's given me clarity about how to deal with certain things
I don't get as upset about small, small things. I just be like, ah, peep noted, all right
I know not to do this to you anymore. I know not to say this. And some of you might say, well, that means you're kind of settling in friendships
It's not really settling, but it's accepting the fact that people are going to mess up and
disappoint you and not using that to like completely cut you. I know some of the things that sometimes some of the ways that people have done us, we
really can't forget it. But I do feel like this generation needs to heal from the friendship
trauma. The things that happen in sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, elementary school
high school that are still plaguing you. It shouldn't be plaguing you at this point. You should be
you're now, a lot of us, Gen Z, like, 1999, we turn it 25. Like, it's time to, it's time to move
forward. It's time to learn how to not place so much heavy emphasis on friends, but have them, you know
Because when you have high expectations of every single person you meet, you're going to be disappointed
So have your standards. Have the things that you need. Don't lower your standard, but lower your expectations
Don't expect that everyone's going to always be there 24-7. When you see that there's somebody that's there, reward them
Having a really good genuine friend that's there for you and cares for you and is rooting for you is very rare
A lot of people live their lives without that. But if you keep closing yourself off or keep feeling like everyone's out to get to
you you're not the main character chill out relax who are people they're gonna mess up keep me oh
i'm a stay i only trust me me me myself and not like stop that's not cute it's not cute to not
have people some of y'all want to get married some of you guys want to have big life events and
celebrate big life events who's going to come to your wedding um but yeah let me know what you
guys think in the comments i really love you guys um yeah subscribe to the channel all right
See ya