welcome back everyone to another deep
dive you know uh today we're going to be
tackling something that I think everyone
listening um can relate to and that is
self- sabotage you know if you ever felt
like you are Your Own Worst Enemy like
you're ready to climb to the top of the
mountain to reach your goals but
something's holding you back well that's
what we're going to be talking about
today we're going to be diving deep into
Brana Weiss's book the mountain is you
to understand this feeling a little bit
better yeah you know it's it really
fascinating how this book
kind of reframes the idea of
self-sabotage it's not about this like
self-hate it's more about this um
misguided attempt at self- protection
yeah I totally agree that was something
that really drew me to this book as well
so instead of thinking of ourselves as
like inherently flawed we have to
understand where these self-sabotaging
behaviors actually come from whis uses a
really interesting example uh in the
book she talks about someone who
sabotages their relationships even
though they so desperately crave
connection it's like they're terrified
of being alone but they're even more
afraid of what true intimacy might
demand of them right it's a perfect
illustration of how our past experiences
can really you know whe whether it's
past hurt or rejection create these
unconscious patterns it's like our brain
is trying to protect us it's trying to
protect us from reliving those painful
experiences even if it means kind of
staying stuck where we are okay so that
makes sense but how do we actually break
free from these patterns especially if
they're unconscious it feels a bit like
trying to navigate a maze in the dark
where Weist argues that the first step
is really confronting to denial often
times we're in denial about the role
that we actually play in our own
struggles yeah you know we blame
external factors other people or just
plain bad luck yeah instead of
acknowledging our own choices and
behaviors yeah I'll admit I've
definitely spent some time in that blame
game before but if owning our choices is
that first step what comes next how do
we actually start climbing this mountain
of self-sabotage that's where whis's
concept of resistance comes in have you
ever noticed that feeling of tension or
anxiety that Creeps in when you're
trying to step outside of your comfort
zone maybe you suddenly feel this urge
to clean your entire house instead of
finishing that important project oh
absolutely for me it's suddenly deciding
to reorganize my entire sock drawer when
I have a deadline looming it's like my
brain just goes into overdrive to find
anything other than the task at hand
exactly but instead of seeing it as
laziness or procrastination whis supp
wants us to understand resistance has
this like natural psychological response
it's our brain's way of trying to
protect us from the unknown from the
potential discomfort or failure so how
do we work with this resistance instead
of letting it win I'm guessing ignoring
it doesn't usually work you're right
ignoring it can actually make it
stronger why is suggest a three-step
approach first acknowledge the
resistance without judgment you know
it's okay to feel it it's a natural part
of the process second try to identify
the underlying fear or concern what's
the worst that could happen if I succeed
and third break down the task into
smaller more manageable steps you know
even small steps forward are still
progress that makes a lot of sense it's
less about trying to conquer the whole
mountain in one go and more about
finding a sustainable path forward but
what about those kind of pesky negative
emotions that often come along with
self-sabotage W actually has a really
interesting take on those right she does
instead of seeing negative emotions as
obstacles WHAS actually reframes them as
valuable guides she emphasizes the
importance of emotional
intelligence which is the ability to
understand and interpret your emotions
not just react to them so instead of
trying to push those feelings away we
should be trying to understand what
they're telling us exactly for example
anger can signal that a boundary has
been crossed or that a need isn't being
met sadness can help us process loss and
let go of what's no longer serving us
even guilt which is often seen as a
negative emotion can point to untapped
potential or areas where we need to make
amends that's a really powerful shift
and perspective persective it's like
instead of being the enemy our emotions
can become allies on this journey but
there's another piece to this puzzle
that I find fascinating the role of our
brains in all of this wnis dives into
some pretty interesting Neuroscience
right she does and she introduces this
concept that I think helps explain why
even when we consciously want to change
our brains sometimes seem to work
against us it's called the homeostatic
impulse okay that sounds a bit
intimidating can you break that down for
us yeah so think of it like this your
brain is like a thermostat but instead
of just regulating your body temperature
it also tries to regulate your mental
and emotional states it wants to keep
you within a certain range of comfort
even if that comfort zone isn't actually
serving you so it's like our brains are
trying to keep us at base camp even when
we're yearning to climb higher it can
certainly feel that way and that's why
self-sabotage comes in even positive
changes like starting a new relationship
or going after a dream job can trigger
discomfort and our brains seeking
stability might try to pull us back to
familiar even if unhealthy patterns wow
it's like we have this internal tug-of
war going on but understanding this
homeostatic impulse seems crucial if we
want to move forward right absolutely
recognizing these impulses is natural
and not signs of personal failure is a
crucial step it's about working with our
brains not against them as we navigate
this challenging terrain of personal
growth so we've started to map out the
landscape of self-sabotage we've seen
how it can stem from a desire for self-
protection how it can manifest as resist
how our emotions can guide us and how
our brains can sometimes hold us back
but this is just the beginning of our
journey right indeed there's much more
to explore including whis's insights on
how to release the past and create a new
future but that's a conversation for our
next climb so we talked about how our
brains and emotions and even our past
experiences can contribute to
self-sabotage but what about the role of
the past itself how do we move forward
if we're constantly like tripping over
old baggage we has some pretty
insightful thoughts On Letting Go which
I think we all need to hear yeah
absolutely this is where the book The
Mountain is you gets really interesting
wus challenges the common advice to just
let go of the past she argues that when
we try to force ourselves to let go we
often end up holding on even tighter
have you ever experienced that oh
totally it's like the more I try to bury
a thought or feeling the more it seems
to haunt me it's almost as if the act of
suppression gives it more power exactly
and when offers a different approach she
suggests that instead of trying to
suppress or deny those difficult
emotions from the past we should
actually allow ourselves to fully feel
them so it's not about ignoring the past
but leaning into it I have to admit that
sounds a bit counterintuitive it might
seem that way at first but think about
it when we try to push away those
painful memories or emotions they don't
just disappear they often Fester beneath
the surface influencing our thoughts and
behaviors in ways we might not even
realize it's like trying to hold a beach
ball underwater you can push it down in
one spot but it'll just pop up somewhere
else that's a great analogy yeah but
when we allow ourselves to feel those
emotions fully to really experience them
without judgment we create the space for
genuine release okay so how do we
actually do this do we just sit down and
force ourselves to relive every
embarrassing or painful moment from our
past I'm not sure I'm ready for that
kind of emotional marathon it's not
about deliberately re-traumatizing
yourself why is suggest a more gentle
approach imagine you're creating a safe
space for exploration ation find a quiet
place where you feel comfortable maybe
put on some calming music and gently
bring to mind a specific memory or
experience that's still causing you pain
okay so I'm recalling the memory then
simply observe the emotions that arise
sadness anger regret whatever it may be
without getting swept away by them
notice where you feel those emotions in
your body tightness in your chest and
not in your stomach just acknowledge
their presence without resisting
so it's more about witnessing the
emotions rather than getting lost in the
story all over again yes it's about
creating a sense of Detachment while
still allowing yourself to feel and as
you do this imagine your present wiser
self offering comfort and support to
your past self recognize that you've
grown and learned from those experiences
and you're no longer that same person I
really like that imagery of offering
Comfort to your past self it's like
reaching back through time and giving
yourself a hug but let's say we've done
the work of releasing the past what
happens next how do we start building a
new future one that's not weighed down
by old patterns and beliefs that's where
whis introduces some really empowering
Concepts yeah and one of them is inner
child work I know that term can sound a
bit well out there for some people but
it's actually a very practical and
Powerful approach to be honest I've
always been a bit curious about inner
child work but I wasn't sure what it
actually entailed it sounded a bit too
uh mystical for me it's not about
literally talking to a tiny version of
yourself think of it as acknowledging
that we all carry within us these
younger versions of ourselves shaped by
our past experiences and sometimes those
inner children are still carrying pain
fear and limiting beliefs they can hold
us back in the present so inner child
work is about healing those past wounds
and giving our younger selves the love
and support they may not have received
exactly and there are a lot of ways to
do this you can try journaling
visualization exercises or even just
talking to your inner child in your mind
it's about offering compassion
understanding and reassurance imagine
what you would say to a younger version
of yourself who's struggling that's such
a powerful concept I'm starting to see
how this could be incredibly healing but
what about actually building a new
future how do we move from releasing the
past to creating a life that we truly
desire whist introduces another powerful
technique for this and it involves
connecting with what she calls our
Highest Potential future selves okay
that one sounds a bit more uh wooo are
we talking time travel here not quite
it's about using visualization to
connect with the version of ourselves
who has already achieved our goals who
is living the life we desire think of it
as a mental dress rehearsal for your
dream life I like that so I'm picturing
myself 5 10 20 years down the road
having achieve everything I've set out
to do what's next really immerse
yourself in this Vision what does your
life look like what have you
accomplished how do you feel don't just
create a picture in your mind try to
feel the emotions the sense of
accomplishment the Freedom that comes
with achieving your dreams this is
making me think about those vision
boards people create is it a similar
concept there are definitely some
similarities but with this technique the
focus is on embodying the emotions and
sensations of your future self rather
than just creating a visual
representation of your goals it's about
feeling the joy the Fulfillment the
sense of purpose that comes with living
in alignment with your Highest Potential
so it's like giving yourself a taste of
the summit which can make the climbs
seem a lot less daunting exactly and
this brings us to another crucial aspect
that winest highlights the impact of
trauma not just on our minds and
emotions but also on our physical
well-being that's something I've
definitely experienced when I'm stressed
or anxious it often manifests physically
headaches tense muscles even digestive
issues it's like my body is trying to
tell me something's not right that's a
really important observation Wiest
emphasizes that trauma isn't just a
psychological experience it's stored in
the body and it can manifest in a
variety of physical ways from those
everyday aches and pains to more chronic
conditions so these physical symptoms
could be like warning signals letting us
know that there's some unhealed trauma
we need to address it's certainly a
possibility worth exploring and this is
where approaches that Focus On Healing
trauma stored in the body such as
somatic experiencing could be incredibly
valuable this is really starting to
paint a more holistic picture it's like
we're understanding not just the mental
and emotional landscape of self-sabotage
but also its physical impact exactly and
this holistic understanding is essential
for creating lasting change we need to
address those wounds on all levels
mental emotional and physical I'm really
starting to see the connections here
it's like we're not just trying to
conquer a mountain but rather learning
to become expert climbers equipped with
the right tools and techniques to
navigate even the most challenging
terrain that's a great way to put it and
remember the Journey of self-discovery
and growth is ongoing there will always
be new mountains to climb new challenges
to face but the skills and insights we
gain along the way make us more
resilient more adaptable and more
capable of reaching our full potential
it's interesting you know as we've been
talking about letting go of the past and
building a new future it really strikes
me that there's an important piece we
haven't fully explored and that's the
connection between our minds and our
bodies you know it's something we hear
about a lot in general sense but whis
really gets into the specifics in a way
that I found fascinating and really
practical oh absolutely and she really
emphasizes how trauma in particular can
have a lasting impact on the body we
tend to think of trauma as this purely
psychological experience yeah but you
know it can show up in so many physical
ways yeah that makes a lot of sense to
me I mean we've all experienced that
like feeling of butterflies in our
stomach when we're nervous or you know
erasing heart when we're scared it's
like our bodies have their own language
for expressing you know what's going on
inside exactly those are kind of
everyday examples but we just points out
that more severe or prolonged trauma can
lead to more chronic physical symptoms
things like muscle tension digestive
issues you know difficulty sleeping even
chronic pain wow so those physical
symptoms could actually be like warning
signals letting us know that there's
some unhealed trauma we need to address
it's definitely a possibility worth
exploring it's like our bodies are
trying to communicate with us MH to tell
us you know there's something deeper
that needs healing okay so let's say we
starting to notice those signals those
kind of physical manifestations of our
past experiences what can we actually do
about it does West offer any guidance on
how to address those physical symptoms
she does she emphasizes the importance
of finding safe supportive ways to
process and release the trauma that's
stored in the body so we're talking
about more than just top therapy here
Are there specific techniques or
practices that she recommends she
mentions a variety of approaches
including sematic experiencing which
focuses specifically on releasing Trauma
from the body she also talks about the
benefits of things like yoga and
mindfulness practices and even body work
like massage or acupuncture so it's
about finding what works for each
individual what resonates with their own
body and their own healing Journey
exactly there's no one size fits-all
solution when it comes to Healing it's
about exploring different modalities and
finding what helps you feel safe
grounded and connected to your body this
is all so empowering it's like we're not
just at the mercy of our past
experiences or our current symptoms we
have agency we have choices and we have
resources available to help us heal and
move forward that's the beauty of it and
remember healing is a journey not a
destination it's about taking those
small consistent steps toward greater
well-being both physically and
emotionally I love that it's about
progress not Perfection well I think
we've explored so much in this deep dive
from the hidden roots of self- sabotage
to the power of emotional intelligence
to the importance of honoring that Mind
Body Connection it's been a really
insightful Journey it has and as always
we encourage you to continue exploring
these Concepts delve deeper into the
resources that are mentioned in the
mountain is you and keep going on your
own personal journey of self-discovery
and growth and remember even when the
mountains seem daunting you have the
strength and resilience within you to
reach the summit every step you take
every challenge you overcome brings you
closer to the life you desire and the
person you're meant to become keep
climbing keep exploring and keep
believing in your own incredible
potential we'll see you on our next deep
dive